If there's one thing Jesus never tires of it's reminding us of His total love for us. The LOVE that we we are literally made to experience. The love that saves sinners and protects all who cling to it. I don't know about you, but I am quick to forget this Love when I am scared or worried. A lot of change has taken place in the last six months and instead of clinging to Christ I've been hacking it on my own. Let me tell ya that's not going so well.
Six months ago... I packed up my new car and my friend's van full of stuff. We were headed to my first real job. Six or seven hours later I was in southern Oregon unprepared for everything that lie ahead. The months to come were a series of unfortunate events. Everything came crumbling down. My transmission died. I had no place to live. Everything at work was new and confusing. Finances were a mess. One of my teens from Washington died. And my new city was struck by a tragedy, the shooting at Umpqua Community College.
There's nothing like a crisis to teach you about yourself and your relationships. Well, I learned very quickly just how weak my faith had become. I stopped praying. I stopped searching for God. I was looking for any way out because I was SCARED! My life was turbulent and I was the only one in the boat. Instead of asking for help I just gave up...
About a month ago a monk told me, "It's okay and it's never weak to feel fear or anxiety. There's everything wrong with staying that way." That's when I realized my problem. I have to give everything to God and go to bed! I have to discern, pray, live with JESUS at the center for anything to go well. Especially when I am plagued with fear and anxiety. I have nothing to fear with Christ.
Tonight that lesson continued as I prayed Night Prayer...
"Night holds no terrors for me sleeping under God's wings." - Antiphon 1, Sunday Night PrayerEven in my sleeping He'll take it all! All my fears, all my worries, all my anxieties He sorts out with me if I only invite Him in and LISTEN.
+ May the LORD grant us a restful night and a peaceful death. Amen +