True Joy

On St. Thomas Aquinas's feast day his quotes were all over Facebook. The quote below in particular was eye catching. It captioned pictures of joyous saints like St. John Paul II and children playing. The posts were widely shared and seemed to impact many people, including myself.

"No man truly has joy unless he lives in LOVE." - St. Thomas Aquinas

This understanding of true love causing true Christian joy has become a frequent conversation in my daily prayers. Love & happiness are the most attractive traits, the most sought after feelings, the most studied subjects, and still continue to be an unfolding, yet uncontainable mystery for most. They are hard to define and far surpass any other feelings. From what I've seen you must make a choice to devote time and energy towards another person to truly love them. True love is selfless & above all sacrificial. So if you work towards & find that true love you're sure to know that true joy.

Giggles in the retreat house.

My Mom & stepfather are characters.

Isn't this what we were made for? If we were made to know, love, and serve God then we must be made for joy as well. If this is true why do we feel so guilty for having good fun? Or laughing out loud? I don't know about you, but for the longest time I hated my laugh. Every time I giggled, chortled, cackled, burst, chuckled, laughed, tittered, tee-hee'd, or sniggered, it was always the same. I would get red & close my eyes. Tears would stream down my face as I rocked back & forth practically wheezing as I laughed. Then, if it was a really good laugh I might even break the capillaries in my face causing me to be speckled for days. It was so embarrassing... However, my teammate Angelle, loved my laugh. My hoodlums loved my laugh. Everyone seemed to love my laugh.

So I asked God why He and others loved my laugh. I wanted an answer, but I got a question, "Why do you laugh that way?" So I thought. Well, I grew up in a home full of love. Not a day went by that we didn't laugh. It was always more than just a reaction to a joke. It was a reaction to the love my mother provided in a very sacrificial, devoted way of life. She gave up a lot for my sisters and I. Daily she strived to teach us that God is love, that we are loved, and that that fact will never change. No matter how sad or stressful a day was, she had a smile on her face, plenty of witty comebacks, & perfect stories. She is still one of the happiest people I know because she seeks love above all else. It has never been all rosy for her, but man her laugh is great. I realized I laugh so loud and so hard because of the love she shows me. Further, I laugh the way I do because of the love the Father shows me. I can try to change my laugh, but in doing so I wouldn't be me.

I'm not attempting to reduce all that is true Christian joy to laughter, but in my own life I've come to know the love of God and joy through our very humorous relationship. Over the last two years it's been quite a joy. I am living in so much love that I wake up, go about much of my day, & go to sleep with a smile on my face. I see more of life through the lens of love and light than I ever have before. There is something about actively seeking & doing God's will that just naturally places you in love and gives you those experiences of joy. I'm not really sure how I even survived a few years before this mission.

"Man cannot live without joy; therefore when he is deprived of true spiritual joys it follows that he becomes addicted to carnal pleasures." - St. Thomas Aquinas

I was merely existing. My will was much more important than God's and I would justify my actions with statements like, "God allowed it, so it must be His will. Right?" Wrong. I was just going through the motions. I would talk with God occasionally. I would do "His work", but seldom did I seek His counsel. Even still he provided me with so much grace in that time. The most important thing I've learned during my time here in the Pacific Northwest is that I must seek His will and His love above all else or I am doomed to fail. When I am not talking with Him, I am not loving Him. If I am not loving Him then I know no true joy. St. Thomas's words above ring very true. It's really hard to fall when you allow someone to support you. I'm not sure why I ever believed I could do anything without Him, but I am forever grateful He's provided me the love to live a life of True Joy. Seek the LORD above all else & you will always know His true love and joy.