It's Not Forever

Recently my high school lost a graduate and a current senior in a car accident. The other driver was drunk and walked away without a scratch. When my friends and I heard about it we couldn't say a word. There was nothing to say. Two wonderful people were here and then they weren't. The response was astounding. Facebook was covered with well wishes and condolences. The crash site was adorned with flowers and gifts a few hours later. 

Grief is a funny thing. Plain and simple, it sucks, but it's necessary. If we don't allow ourselves to cry we can't move on. Through my grieving process I learned a few things.

     1. God really does have a plan.

          He decides who comes home and when. We do not have any control over God and we never will. To us it may seem unfair, but He needed them to come home.

     2. Justice will be served.

          The man who did this will get what he deserves, but that is all out of our hands. If the earthly court's decision is less than deserving, God will judge. I have no right to judge or condemn that man. He has to walk knowing what he did. Hopefully he can see the error of his ways and repent appropriately.

     3. There is still a reason to live.

          There will always be a part of you with them and vice versa. You cannot escape the hold they have on you. A piece of them is locked inside your heart. They become a part of you anfd your life. So you must live on.

Be happy for the time you spent together. Be hopeful for that moment when you'll meet again. Be alive because they want you to go on.

To all those angels, enjoy your time in peace and watch over us.

True Beauty

I was at a friend's house last night and as usual we were discussing boys. She said she was crushing on a new boy. But instead of being giddy she was sad. I didn't understand why she was, but now I get it. She can't see what everyone else sees when they look at her. Her view is so clouded. When I see a tall statuesque young lady she sees a thin giant with knobby knees. Every time that boy says, "You're beautiful," she says, "he's just being polite." This is the torture we put ourselves through every single day. No matter how confident you think you are this is a weak spot. This ladies and gents proves how insane we are.

We go around all day waving, complementing, and smiling. Believing we will brighten another person's day, but what about you? Yes, you should do all that for others, but don't forget yourself. When was the last time you truly complimented yourself? Take a minute and write down five positive features about: your body, your personality, your skills, your longterm goal(s), etcetera. Here are some that I wrote down:

     1. I have a great smile.
     2. I am compassionate.
     3. I make a great snicker doodle.
     4. I am a great leader.
     5. I am beautiful in anything.

When you're done tape them to your mirror or beside it. You need to see these everyday. This how I got over the world's view of pretty. This is how I saw myself for everything I am instead of everything I'm not.

Did You Forget?

Tonight something hilarious happened at my house. My mom and stepdad were sitting on the couch joking with each other about my stepfather's addiction to Angry Birds. We call it the "other woman." As they were playfully fighting my mother accidentally knocked over the stool. As the stool fell a Corelle dish shattered and a blue cup was sent rolling across the carpet. We sat there for a moment and then we laughed hysterically. Even though it was one of my mother's favorite divided plates, it was hilarious. It is something she'll never live down, but it is also a fond memory. Even though she may not find another.

Sometimes in life we get so wrapped up in the bad and the ugly that we forget the good. We forget how the now deceased made us laugh. We put aside the happy memories as we mourn our break up. Yes, we should remember the bad and the ugly, but remember the good as well. Because without the good we have nothing to look forward to, nothing to keep us going. I refuse to live in world where all life's goodness is lost.

Relaxed

Tomorrow morning I have a paper due. Tomorrow afternoon I have a presentation, a reflection, and a research paper due. All day I was completely stressed, but then God stepped in. I was driving home and I realized that I had enough punches on my coffee lover's card for a free 24 oz. coffee. Yes God came to me in the form of a 24 oz. Fat Free French Vanilla Cappuccino and two packets of Sugar In The Raw.


God can be simple. Most of the time he doesn't come to us in some elaborate vision. He doesn't need fireworks and a show. Instead he needs our attention. Constantly He is speaking to our souls, but we are cluttered. We need to let go of our stresses and relax. I know that it is extremely hard. But when we let go, His grace consumes us and we can hear Him. Sometimes His message won't make sense, but don't worry.


"For I know well the plans I have in mind for you,' says the Lord, 'plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope." Jeremiah 29: 11 NABRE