Do You Believe?

Lately I have been receiving a lot of negativity regarding my life choices. I feel like every time I find a niche I am evicted from it. Why? Because someone's opinion rattled my security. I let those "invisible enemies" infect my dreams until they were shriveled. Those words were my kryptonite. It all started with the: "Are you sure?" "What if?" and "I wanna be proud...BUT" Have you ever felt the way I do? Have you ever felt like the kitten who sees a pride leader or the Ron Weasley who sees the next house boy?

Currently I am an unemployed, occasional blogger/writer/artist, aspiring youth minister, college freshman, living at home. I volunteer 20+ hours a week with no pay. I am a B student at a community college. And guess what... I am happy. I'm not living outside my means or dreaming the impossible, but some see it differently. To them I am dependent, average, hopelessly romantic, flaky, unrealistic, and lazy.

But guess what, they don't matter. They won't have to like themselves at the end of the day or lie to get through it. If I'm not in danger and I am being sensible, then I don't need your negativity. I need your advice and support, in a caring tone. There is a big difference between constructive criticism and destructive words. If you think I can't do it, shut up and let me prove you wrong. Or you can help me succeed. Take your pick, for my sake and that of others. We are here to support and encourage, not to demean or belittle.

When I walk past my mirror I see a confident, faithful, capable, learning, imaginative, innovative, charming, young women. I don't see it everyday, but I have a plan. And I'll get what I want, but your help is necessary. Sometimes it is as little as your smile after a witness. Occasionally I'll need a weekend getaway or an argument. Yes, I wrote that. Not all fights are unnecessary. Some need to happen to air out the issues and relieve that pent up anger. My most life changing realizations were after a fight that was meant to happen. When you shout and defend you see how much you want it, what it's worth, and if you can handle it.

So here's a chance to fight. I can't guarantee you'll win every fight, but if it's meant to be it will.


This blog was inspired by: recent events & "The Value of Believing In Yourself: The Story of Louis Pasteur" by Spencer Johnson, M.D.