Fear

If there's one thing Jesus never tires of it's reminding us of His total love for us. The LOVE that we we are literally made to experience. The love that saves sinners and protects all who cling to it. I don't know about you, but I am quick to forget this Love when I am scared or worried. A lot of change has taken place in the last six months and instead of clinging to Christ I've been hacking it on my own. Let me tell ya that's not going so well.

Six months ago... I packed up my new car and my friend's van full of stuff. We were headed to my first real job. Six or seven hours later I was in southern Oregon unprepared for everything that lie ahead. The months to come were a series of unfortunate events. Everything came crumbling down. My transmission died. I had no place to live. Everything at work was new and confusing. Finances were a mess. One of my teens from Washington died. And my new city was struck by a tragedy, the shooting at Umpqua Community College.

There's nothing like a crisis to teach you about yourself and your relationships. Well, I learned very quickly just how weak my faith had become. I stopped praying. I stopped searching for God. I was looking for any way out because I was SCARED! My life was turbulent and I was the only one in the boat. Instead of asking for help I just gave up...

About a month ago a monk told me, "It's okay and it's never weak to feel fear or anxiety. There's everything wrong with staying that way." That's when I realized my problem. I have to give everything to God and go to bed! I have to discern, pray, live with JESUS at the center for anything to go well. Especially when I am plagued with fear and anxiety. I have nothing to fear with Christ.

Tonight that lesson continued as I prayed Night Prayer...

"Night holds no terrors for me sleeping under God's wings." - Antiphon 1, Sunday Night Prayer

Even in my sleeping He'll take it all! All my fears, all my worries, all my anxieties He sorts out with me if I only invite Him in and LISTEN.

+ May the LORD grant us a restful night and a peaceful death.  Amen +

Thank You

"God walks into your soul with silent step. God comes to you more than you go to Him. Never will His coming be what you expect. And yet never will it disappoint."         

- Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

When I came to Bremerton I never expected to love the place let alone its people. God has a funny way of putting us exactly where we need to be, for a reason He may never reveal. However, I think He sent me here to learn how to love. The situations, conversations, and groups I have been placed in always connect to a wound of my past. Over time these same connections proved to be the healing I needed.

The above quote rings true especially during this time of transition. Our Lady Star of the Sea wasn't what I expected, but she surely didn't disappoint. In sixty something days I am leaving for a permanent job in southern Oregon and I am going to miss this place so much. I will miss it more than Ohio, if that's even possible.

Now, I'm sure I'm going to say this a thousand times before I go, but Thank You. Thank You to each and every one of the hoodlums, parishioners, staff members, visiting priests, and friends I've made along the way. Without your openness & willingness to be God's vessels, the grace I've experienced here could not have been poured out. Continue to let God use you. He will continue to change lives and save souls through you.

I just had to take a minute and thank you all. These last two years have been amazing and I'll miss them. But I know that this next parish is where God wants me to be. Pray for me as I pray for you!

I love you,
Emma