Thank You

"God walks into your soul with silent step. God comes to you more than you go to Him. Never will His coming be what you expect. And yet never will it disappoint."         

- Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

When I came to Bremerton I never expected to love the place let alone its people. God has a funny way of putting us exactly where we need to be, for a reason He may never reveal. However, I think He sent me here to learn how to love. The situations, conversations, and groups I have been placed in always connect to a wound of my past. Over time these same connections proved to be the healing I needed.

The above quote rings true especially during this time of transition. Our Lady Star of the Sea wasn't what I expected, but she surely didn't disappoint. In sixty something days I am leaving for a permanent job in southern Oregon and I am going to miss this place so much. I will miss it more than Ohio, if that's even possible.

Now, I'm sure I'm going to say this a thousand times before I go, but Thank You. Thank You to each and every one of the hoodlums, parishioners, staff members, visiting priests, and friends I've made along the way. Without your openness & willingness to be God's vessels, the grace I've experienced here could not have been poured out. Continue to let God use you. He will continue to change lives and save souls through you.

I just had to take a minute and thank you all. These last two years have been amazing and I'll miss them. But I know that this next parish is where God wants me to be. Pray for me as I pray for you!

I love you,
Emma

And God Gave Me Rest

This picture perfectly describes the last month & a half. I know this is what exhaustion looks like. Ever since I returned to Washington I've been on the move, literally. The first thing I did was move from one missionary house to another in less than twelve hours after I got off the plane. I compiled donations from this house. I cleaned up that one. I enlisted plenty of my hoodlums to move furniture. And I freaked out... I felt an urgency that no one put on me. I was even told, "Take a day or two. Get caught up on sleep." But I was overwhelmed because I wanted things to be perfect...

Despite the onset of frustration I just threw myself into more tasks seeking perfection. I staffed the Ignite Your Torch Northwest conference in Olympia, WA for the second year and it was a great conference, but I couldn't enjoy it. I spent the majority of my time before the conference working from 9:30 AM until 2 AM over & over again. During the conference I was too concerned about trivial things like lost name tags. I should've picked up a Sharpie & handed it to an organizer to deal with it, but instead I stressed everyone out around me.

The next week I was prepping for our Teen Confirmation registration program & for our American Heritage Girls camping trip to Whidbey Island, WA. I have to admit the camping trip was fun, but I kept checking my phone as if someone else needed me besides my girls. The one night I had there I spent responding to emails, txts, & Facebook messages until the wee hours of the morning. With little sleep I wasn't much use to the AHG girls or leaders.

Then, I went on a three day mission trip to volunteer as a member of the 300 to support the organization 4US with very little left to give. The trip was amazing & so joy filled, but again I couldn't fully enjoy it. My sleep was wasted again responding to emails, txts, & Facebook messages. When I returned I looked like I'd run into a brick wall. By all accounts I looked tired, mad, and/or upset and I probably was.

Yesterday, at the team overnight with all five of us missionaries I finally fell asleep. For three hours I was knocked out on the couch. I can't remember the last time I slept that long in the middle of the day. I had been begging God to show me what was wrong & He gave me sleep.

Jesus said,  "Come to me, all you who labor & are heavy laden, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

And he reminded me of something Br. Declan Gibson told me at the Ignite Your Torch NW conference: "You must safe guard your prayer with a barbed wire fence & make time for GOD. You could do every good & holy thing and still be distant from God. Emma, even if the pope asked you to do something & it interfered with your prayer time you'd have to respond with, "I'm very sorry Holy Father, but Jesus is calling me to pray. He deserves that time because He bought my life & you're just the pope."

I kicked off my second year of mission with pride thinking I could do it all. I failed to share with or even ask Jesus what he wanted from me. So like a wise parent He tucked me in & made me sleep even though I went kicking & screaming. I am so glad He did & I am so sorry for my foolishness. I can't do it all & I can't do anything without Christ. Like Br. Declan said, "Jesus deserves & wants my time & presence." He wants & needs it more than anyone else. So, I resolve to rededicate my life to Christ & make more time for HIM. How can I even claim to know Him when we've spent so little time together?

Spend time with Jesus because HE loves you so much that He died for you. He deserves your time more than anyone else.

Thankful

Thanksgiving is my favorite time of year because it's huge for my family. We don't have football traditions, but we sure have cooking traditions. Over the years my mother and my uncle have spent their early holiday mornings trying to make their mother's turkey stuffing. Finally, they hacked it and it's become a staple of our celebrations despite the fact that my mother doesn't like it.

Tradition is big in my family. Everyone arrives at the house at least two hours before the meal to socialize and help. Then, the meal is served and we have boisterous conversations about years past. My sister Ellen never fails to incorrectly remember a situation the girls and I found ourselves in years ago. My sister Erin gives her the hardest time as our step-siblings encourage her with their giggling.

By meal's end we're in a fit of laughter as we wipe the tears from our eyes because everything was just that funny. The parents sit down to watch the latest series they've been watching on Netflix and the pie is served with a side of Granny's signature strawberry Jell-O. It's quite the sight and oh, how I miss them.

This is my first time away from home and my first Thanksgiving without them. Our 2,500 mile distance has never felt so far. It's a sacrifice for all of us, but from every sacrifice comes grace. My sisters are spending more time at home and our relationship via social media is improving. It's a joy to bear this struggle knowing we're all better for it.

So this Thanksgiving I am thankful for the struggles of life. It's only out of darkness that one can understand the importance of the Light. Through this particular struggle my life has been transformed. My spiritual life has never been so intense and my relationship with my mother has never been so genuine. So, this Thanksgiving whether it's a great one or not be thankful for your own struggles.

Happy Thanksgiving!

34 Hours and 28 Minutes

Two months ago I packed up my life and walked into the Dayton International airport to leave for a ten month internship in Bremerton, WA. My mother drove me there and waited with me as I checked my bags. We walked to the security line and I fiddled with my ticket trying to think of something to say. She just asked if I had everything and stuffed a few extra snacks into my carry-on.

Before I knew it she looked at me with tears behind her purple reading glasses. We hugged each other hoping to make the hug last until my Christmas break in December. Soon it was time to go and she just smiled and said, "I love you. Have a good time." I'm still not sure how she did that without crying, but then again mothers are superheroes.

I'm sure that's one of the hardest things either of us have done, but what amazes me is that we weren't scared. She knew God would watch over me and I knew he'd watch over her. This is the definition of faith; knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has your best interests at heart. God has given the two of us so much grace through this journey.

Though we're thirty four hours and twenty eight minutes, if I got in my car and drove, our relationship has never been stronger. God called the two of us to this journey and has blessed us since that first prayer.