I’ve been absent from this blog for quite a while because God
has been doing some work. You know how He likes to specialize in that
“sandpaper ministry”. This past year has been incredible and hectic, fruitful
and exasperating, joyous and trying.
It all started when I got home from my first year at the St.
John Bosco conference last July. My heart could not have been more on fire for God
when I got home. By that August I was in a small Christian community and openly
defending the faith in my Eastern religions class, that’s another story. And by
that November I was busy, successful, and then there was this guy…
I thought we were made for each other. Our meeting from the
beginning was truly written by God, but ours wasn’t the ending I wanted. The
sandpaper came in here because I was stuck between, “This guy is what I want”
and “Is he what I need?” We didn’t make it and I was angry with God. For a
while things were great and I was comfortable and then all of the sudden things
sucked.
As if things couldn’t get worse, in prayer God told me to
look for a job. I ignored Him for months making all kind of excuses. Finally,
the “sandpaper” wore me thin and I knew I had to trust Him in this moment. I
found five youth ministry jobs I would like and applied for an internship in
Washington. My immediate thought was, “He won’t send me there, but I can at
least say I tried.”
And wouldn’t you know it, I was hired in less than
twenty-four hours. God is very funny and always has our best interests at heart
even when we’re brats. Had you told me this time last year that I would be moving
across the country I would've had you committed. For the longest time I’ve
said, “If I’m doing youth ministry I’m doing it in Ohio!”
Had I been given my way I would probably be in a dead end
relationship and too frustrated to be able to grow a fruitful ministry. As much
as that “sandpaper” hurts we need to offer our suffering up with the knowledge
that it will help another; all while remembering that God loves us and is with
us always. God doesn’t call the equipped he equips the called and it takes
work.
The sooner we let God take over the better. Trust me I know
it’s not easy. I leave for Washington in eight days and it’s been tough, but
it’s the moments that make you the most uncomfortable that prove to be the most
rewarding. I can’t wait to see what happens next because this is the hardest
thing I have ever done.
Pray that you and I may be given the strength to give God
the control and trust that he has us in His hands.
