True Joy

On St. Thomas Aquinas's feast day his quotes were all over Facebook. The quote below in particular was eye catching. It captioned pictures of joyous saints like St. John Paul II and children playing. The posts were widely shared and seemed to impact many people, including myself.

"No man truly has joy unless he lives in LOVE." - St. Thomas Aquinas

This understanding of true love causing true Christian joy has become a frequent conversation in my daily prayers. Love & happiness are the most attractive traits, the most sought after feelings, the most studied subjects, and still continue to be an unfolding, yet uncontainable mystery for most. They are hard to define and far surpass any other feelings. From what I've seen you must make a choice to devote time and energy towards another person to truly love them. True love is selfless & above all sacrificial. So if you work towards & find that true love you're sure to know that true joy.

Giggles in the retreat house.

My Mom & stepfather are characters.

Isn't this what we were made for? If we were made to know, love, and serve God then we must be made for joy as well. If this is true why do we feel so guilty for having good fun? Or laughing out loud? I don't know about you, but for the longest time I hated my laugh. Every time I giggled, chortled, cackled, burst, chuckled, laughed, tittered, tee-hee'd, or sniggered, it was always the same. I would get red & close my eyes. Tears would stream down my face as I rocked back & forth practically wheezing as I laughed. Then, if it was a really good laugh I might even break the capillaries in my face causing me to be speckled for days. It was so embarrassing... However, my teammate Angelle, loved my laugh. My hoodlums loved my laugh. Everyone seemed to love my laugh.

So I asked God why He and others loved my laugh. I wanted an answer, but I got a question, "Why do you laugh that way?" So I thought. Well, I grew up in a home full of love. Not a day went by that we didn't laugh. It was always more than just a reaction to a joke. It was a reaction to the love my mother provided in a very sacrificial, devoted way of life. She gave up a lot for my sisters and I. Daily she strived to teach us that God is love, that we are loved, and that that fact will never change. No matter how sad or stressful a day was, she had a smile on her face, plenty of witty comebacks, & perfect stories. She is still one of the happiest people I know because she seeks love above all else. It has never been all rosy for her, but man her laugh is great. I realized I laugh so loud and so hard because of the love she shows me. Further, I laugh the way I do because of the love the Father shows me. I can try to change my laugh, but in doing so I wouldn't be me.

I'm not attempting to reduce all that is true Christian joy to laughter, but in my own life I've come to know the love of God and joy through our very humorous relationship. Over the last two years it's been quite a joy. I am living in so much love that I wake up, go about much of my day, & go to sleep with a smile on my face. I see more of life through the lens of love and light than I ever have before. There is something about actively seeking & doing God's will that just naturally places you in love and gives you those experiences of joy. I'm not really sure how I even survived a few years before this mission.

"Man cannot live without joy; therefore when he is deprived of true spiritual joys it follows that he becomes addicted to carnal pleasures." - St. Thomas Aquinas

I was merely existing. My will was much more important than God's and I would justify my actions with statements like, "God allowed it, so it must be His will. Right?" Wrong. I was just going through the motions. I would talk with God occasionally. I would do "His work", but seldom did I seek His counsel. Even still he provided me with so much grace in that time. The most important thing I've learned during my time here in the Pacific Northwest is that I must seek His will and His love above all else or I am doomed to fail. When I am not talking with Him, I am not loving Him. If I am not loving Him then I know no true joy. St. Thomas's words above ring very true. It's really hard to fall when you allow someone to support you. I'm not sure why I ever believed I could do anything without Him, but I am forever grateful He's provided me the love to live a life of True Joy. Seek the LORD above all else & you will always know His true love and joy.

To My Fathers

St. Joseph & the child Jesus

God has always provided me with wonderful male role models that have guided me. So, in honor of Father's Day I had to make a list of all the reasons why I love my father & brother figures. Here they are:

1. You teach me.
2. You call me out.
3. You pray for me.
4. You build me up.
5. You pray with me.
6. You make me laugh.
7. You won't let me give up.
8. You pray for my ministry.
9. You give me the best advice.
10. You lead me closer to Christ.
11. You make me feel like family.
12. You show me how to fix things.
13. You always pay for lunch & dinner.
14. You protect me & make me feel safe.
15. You teach me how to love like Christ.
16. You have the corniest sense of humor.
17. You challenge me to be & do the best I can.
18. You drive me to the airport at ridiculous hours.
19. You make me smile all the time, even when I'm upset.

Again, Happy Father's Day to all of my wonderful father figures! Thank you for praying for me & always loving me. My life has been blessed by your presence & support. I could not be as strong & faith filled without you. May you continue to follow in St. Joseph's example of selfless service & spiritual foster fatherhood. 

Love, Emma

Want to know more about spiritual fatherhood? Click here: 

http://www.mncc.org/spiritual-motherhood-and-fatherhood/

34 Hours and 28 Minutes

Two months ago I packed up my life and walked into the Dayton International airport to leave for a ten month internship in Bremerton, WA. My mother drove me there and waited with me as I checked my bags. We walked to the security line and I fiddled with my ticket trying to think of something to say. She just asked if I had everything and stuffed a few extra snacks into my carry-on.

Before I knew it she looked at me with tears behind her purple reading glasses. We hugged each other hoping to make the hug last until my Christmas break in December. Soon it was time to go and she just smiled and said, "I love you. Have a good time." I'm still not sure how she did that without crying, but then again mothers are superheroes.

I'm sure that's one of the hardest things either of us have done, but what amazes me is that we weren't scared. She knew God would watch over me and I knew he'd watch over her. This is the definition of faith; knowing beyond the shadow of a doubt that God has your best interests at heart. God has given the two of us so much grace through this journey.

Though we're thirty four hours and twenty eight minutes, if I got in my car and drove, our relationship has never been stronger. God called the two of us to this journey and has blessed us since that first prayer.

Thriving in the Loneliness

How many times have you heard someone say, “You are not alone.” Many of you can think of at least a few times when this has happened, but how many of you believed it? As you think about it maybe you have the image of a family member or friend saying this to you and you shaking your head like, “Yeah right.” As much as you hate to hear it, they were right.

As human beings and people of faith we will go through seasons of blessings, belief, doubt, and despair. Each of these seasons is determined by our faith and when you’re lonely it’s hard to keep praying. It is so easy to just go through the motions. Whether you’re married, single, or living the religious life. You will be lonely it’s a fact of life. Your spouse is not the source of your contentment. No amount of school activities will fill your void. A community on it’s own cannot provide you with the support you’re seeking. So, what is the key?

In my small Christian community we’ve been studying the Theology of the Body. Every Tuesday afternoon we get together and listen to a talk and talk about what we heard. Tonight we talked about how hungry human beings are. We hunger to fill our void. We hunger for love, but the love we seek cannot be achieved unless we seek God. God is love, right? We are created to know, love, and serve Him, right?

As I sat and listened I felt so stupid! Our society would have us believe that we need a romantic relationship to fill our void or money, or a big house and the list goes on and on. The only thing that will fill that hunger, the same “hunger that drives great saints to know God” is GOD. (TOB)

Our problem is that we look for something to fill that void in all the wrong places. Christopher West from Theology of the Body explains this paradox very well, “That same hunger that drives great saints to know God can drive them to be great sinners.” I had never thought of it that way.

This is why being lonely sucks. The expression “being surrounded by a sea of people and feeling all alone” perfectly describes how I feel as a single person. It is so hard to wake up and go about my day and go to bed alone. Even though people at school and around town surround me at the end of the day I have two cats and a quiet home to go to. That’s not the kind of life I aspired to live. That’s not the life I read about in storybooks. That’s not the life happy people live.

Wrong. Plenty of happy people live a similar life. They are happy because they are thriving in their loneliness and/or singleness. They are walking with God. Every time they get lonely they can remember God is there. He may not be tangible in the moment, but he is there for you. He’s the listening ear, the song on the radio, and the pleasant weather. He’s even in your positive thinking about your current life.

A marriage may not last your whole life. You may not always live in a Christian community. Your singleness may not last forever. Even if your marriage lasts forever there will be business trips and times spent apart. Even in your community you will need to retreat. Even in your singleness you have the best companion. Being lonely sucks, but God can cure it.

Seek Him in your church communities. Get involved in Christ centered projects and groups. Pray everyday and build a relationship with Him. Serve Him with your gifts. Glorify Him in all that you do. God will fill your hunger and to do this you need to get to know Him.

Over the past month I've been struggling with this issue. It has been so hard to stay positive and not let myself be dismayed over not having a companion. But one of my fellow small Christian community participants put it perfectly, "He has you where you need to be." I found so much comfort in that and I hope you do to. Know that I am praying for all of you and I hope finding comfort in our creator will bring you out of your darkness and give you strength.

God Provides :)

I just finished a mini movie night in the living room with the laptop and my kitties. As much as I would've loved a snuggle buddy, that didn't have claws, I am so happy. Since high school I've been asking for a partner in this life. God's answer since day one has been not now. I'm not very patient, but for Him to give me time to learn about me and the rest of His handy work is AWESOME!

Even though I griped every valentines day and school dance, but He still showed me His love. And as I am constantly showed, we find our hope, our drive, and reason for living in that love. God has you where you are for a reason. As much as it seems like torture it's a necessary and temporary discomfort that will give you a glimpse into His immense love if you're open. A glimpse into the love we should seek and always cling to.

So be content in your place in this world and remember God has one of three answers to your requests: Yes, No, or Not Now. And your response should be, "Thy will be done." It's not easy, but this is how you learn compromise and patience for your human relationships. It may not seem like it, but He is giving you all of the tools so use them! We are His children and He is a patient parent. Be present to Him and He will be present to you.

Who Is Blessed?

Every time I write a witness talk it’s different. It could be the same story I’ve told for years, but how I prepare for each talk is wildly different. I sat down to write one on the meaning of being blessed and was amazed at God’s intervention. On Thursday night I was supposed to go to young adult group, but God’s plan isn’t always our plan. By the time I got the key and unlocked the room everyone had cancelled. Thinking I could be productive I sat down with a stack of loose leaf, a Bible, and “Ten Minute Daily Devotions for Teens”.

I almost never sit down with references to write a witness, but this time I guess I needed to. I had no idea how to define the word blessed so I looked it up. According to dictionary.com blessed means: consecrated, sacred, holy, sanctified, worthy of adoration and worship, divinely favored, or fortunate. This all sounded great, but it didn’t seem relatable. How was I supposed to write a talk on holiness? I am so far from it.

Frustrated I opened “Ten Minute Daily Devotions for Teens” to the day I am supposed to give this talk, August 14^th. The title of the page read, “Who Is Blessed?” Not giving it a second thought I laughed and continued reading. This is what it said:

“While he was speaking, a woman from the crowd called out and said to him, ‘Blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts at which you nursed.’ He replied, ‘Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it.’ “

Luke 11:27-28

All of the sudden I knew where to go with the talk. I understood what anecdotes to tell. But I couldn’t have done any of it without Him. I don’t believe in coincidence or luck because that only goes so far. When it’s the power of God intervening in your life you know it. And if you know that you know what it means to be blessed. To allow God to use you is keeping His word. By relinquishing yourself to Him you trust His plans.

Trusting in Him is difficult especially when you need to most. Like when you’re having a terrible day and just can’t seem to see the good in it. God seems like your last priority, but He should be your first. You can’t pray to Him when it’s great and forget Him as your world seems to crumble. When you invoke His spirit and allow Him to fill you up you are blessed. If you don’t believe me think back to a time when you allowed that to happen. Do you remember the peace you felt? That was God.

We’re told in Colossians 3:15, “And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were called in one body.” Through out the Bible we’re called to be in communion with Christ every moment of our lives. When we invite Him in and keep Him in our hearts we become blessed. Finally, when we are blessed we achieve peace. It is a lifelong struggle to maintain this peace, but it’s not impossible.

Here is a prayer from “Ten Minute Daily Devotions for Teens” to help you ask God for help:

“Dear Jesus, you have proclaimed that I can be blessed, be holy, if I hear your word and obey it. Help me to be attentive to your word and live it. Amen” 

Invite God Into Your Hearts