How many times have
you heard someone say, “You are not alone.” Many of you can think of at least a
few times when this has happened, but how many of you believed it? As you think
about it maybe you have the image of a family member or friend saying this to
you and you shaking your head like, “Yeah right.” As much as you hate to hear
it, they were right.
As human beings and people of faith we will go through
seasons of blessings, belief, doubt, and despair. Each of these seasons is
determined by our faith and when you’re lonely it’s hard to keep praying. It is
so easy to just go through the motions. Whether you’re married, single, or
living the religious life. You will be lonely it’s a fact of life. Your spouse
is not the source of your contentment. No amount of school activities will fill
your void. A community on it’s own cannot provide you with the support you’re
seeking. So, what is the key?
In my small Christian community we’ve been studying the
Theology of the Body. Every Tuesday afternoon we get together and listen to a
talk and talk about what we heard. Tonight we talked about how hungry human
beings are. We hunger to fill our void. We hunger for love, but the love we
seek cannot be achieved unless we seek God. God is love, right? We are created
to know, love, and serve Him, right?
As I sat and listened I felt so stupid! Our society would
have us believe that we need a romantic relationship to fill our void or money,
or a big house and the list goes on and on. The only thing that will fill that
hunger, the same “hunger that drives great saints to know God” is GOD. (TOB)
Our problem is that we look for something to fill that void
in all the wrong places. Christopher West from Theology of the Body explains
this paradox very well, “That same hunger that drives great saints to know God
can drive them to be great sinners.” I had never thought of it that way.
This is why being lonely sucks. The expression “being
surrounded by a sea of people and feeling all alone” perfectly describes how I
feel as a single person. It is so hard to wake up and go about my day and go to
bed alone. Even though people at school and around town surround me at the end
of the day I have two cats and a quiet home to go to. That’s not the kind of
life I aspired to live. That’s not the life I read about in storybooks. That’s
not the life happy people live.
Wrong. Plenty of happy people live a similar life. They are
happy because they are thriving in their loneliness and/or singleness. They are
walking with God. Every time they get lonely they can remember God is there. He
may not be tangible in the moment, but he is there for you. He’s the listening
ear, the song on the radio, and the pleasant weather. He’s even in your
positive thinking about your current life.
A marriage may not last your whole life. You may not always
live in a Christian community. Your singleness may not last forever. Even if
your marriage lasts forever there will be business trips and times spent apart.
Even in your community you will need to retreat. Even in your singleness you
have the best companion. Being lonely sucks, but God can cure it.
Seek Him in your church communities. Get involved in Christ
centered projects and groups. Pray everyday and build a relationship with Him.
Serve Him with your gifts. Glorify Him in all that you do. God will fill your
hunger and to do this you need to get to know Him.
Over the past month I've been struggling with this issue. It has been so hard to stay positive and not let myself be dismayed over not having a companion. But one of my fellow small Christian community participants put it perfectly, "He has you where you need to be." I found so much comfort in that and I hope you do to. Know that I am praying for all of you and I hope finding comfort in our creator will bring you out of your darkness and give you strength.
