To My Fathers

St. Joseph & the child Jesus

God has always provided me with wonderful male role models that have guided me. So, in honor of Father's Day I had to make a list of all the reasons why I love my father & brother figures. Here they are:

1. You teach me.
2. You call me out.
3. You pray for me.
4. You build me up.
5. You pray with me.
6. You make me laugh.
7. You won't let me give up.
8. You pray for my ministry.
9. You give me the best advice.
10. You lead me closer to Christ.
11. You make me feel like family.
12. You show me how to fix things.
13. You always pay for lunch & dinner.
14. You protect me & make me feel safe.
15. You teach me how to love like Christ.
16. You have the corniest sense of humor.
17. You challenge me to be & do the best I can.
18. You drive me to the airport at ridiculous hours.
19. You make me smile all the time, even when I'm upset.

Again, Happy Father's Day to all of my wonderful father figures! Thank you for praying for me & always loving me. My life has been blessed by your presence & support. I could not be as strong & faith filled without you. May you continue to follow in St. Joseph's example of selfless service & spiritual foster fatherhood. 

Love, Emma

Want to know more about spiritual fatherhood? Click here: 

http://www.mncc.org/spiritual-motherhood-and-fatherhood/

Fruits of Your Labor

One of the many joys of working with kids is knowing you’re doing something good, something that may change their lives. Seldom will you see the fruits of your labor, but when you do it is something amazing. When you’ve seen the impact you’ve made on someone’s life it reenergizes you when you’re ready to quit. I have to say the glimpses I’ve seen have kept me going for some time now. But as I begin my certification in less than a week I am reflecting on them more and more.

The first time a kid said I inspired them was probably in my high school youth group. We had ended group for the night and I asked him how his week went. He told me he had to write a paper and that he actually enjoyed it. After some conversation he told me the paper was about someone who was a “Living Saint”. He had written the paper about me. At the time I’m not sure I was as appreciative as I should’ve been, but after all this time I’m still in awe. This instance really committed me to living out God’s plan for me. Honestly, without it I doubt I’d still be pursuing a career in youth ministry.

The most recent one was between my sister, Erin, and I over Facebook. Now, our relationship has suffered since I moved out, but we’ve been seeing each other a lot recently. Last night she posted one of those “truth is” statuses and I liked it just for fun. Normally people don’t really tell you the truth, but this time she did. I cried when read what she wrote on my wall. The message said, “The truth of one Emma: You are a very good person inside and out. I realize that I could be a better sibling to you. I also realize your frustrations are truly real. I thank you for being my guide through this world because you are the oldest and will experience most of the world before me.” More often than not I have neglected my family while ministering to others.  But she still had something truly real to say after everything we’ve been through. That's us in a face off in the picture above.

These are the two events that really stick out to me and I’m sure there are countless others, but in the words of Soren Kierkegaard, “Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.” Everyone will have similar events in their own lives, but you may not realize it at the time. With this we must live because of these events rather than dwell on topping them. No one will ever give me a better feeling than the one my sister gave me as I read that sentiment, but I’m still going to keep ministering. These wonderful lives I’ve touched give me hope for the future and remind me that we are all a part of something bigger. 

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Uncommon Kindness

Yesterday something truly inspiring happened. My neighborhood is full of nosy people who call the city if your yard isn't up to snuff. This particular man that calls on us lives five houses down and walks up to our home to stare at our yard. He doesn't do this to anyone else because we're the only ones that call him out. Anyway, we got one of these nasty signs in our yard saying we had five days to clean up the yard. This isn't such a big deal since there's like one patch of weeds that needs done.

It was blazing hot yesterday morning so I planned on going out and working when it was cool at night. About two o'clock I hear my neighbor's lawn mower get really loud. The nice neighbor across the street had been mowing his lawn all morning. Since he's an older man I was worried he hit something. As I look out my window he rides past on his lawnmower.

This sixty something year old man road his lawn mower across the street to mow my lawn. I was astounded. It's not everyday someone in this neighborhood helps someone out. I brought him water and thanked him and checked on him periodically from the window. He just kept going and going for hours on end. Finally, I heard him ride his lawn mower home.

Just as I was sure he was done he came back and cleaned out the space up by the drive. There are always chewing tobacco tins and trash from kids and he got them out of the drain. Now, by this time he had already been outside for two of three hours in eighty degree weather. I had to persuade him to go home and take a break.

When I asked him why he was doing this he said it was to repay my family's kindness. For years we had helped each other out and yesterday we got to see how much we had done for each other. When his mother still lived there we always made that house our first stop for trick or treating. My mother and her would talk on a regular basis and just shoot the breeze. She even mowed their lawn when our neighbor had a broken arm and wasn't able to mow in time to get a similar sign out of his yard.

Both family's have been uncommonly kind to each other in a world that forgets we all fall on hard times. I am grateful for his kindness and even more grateful that we've lived across from each other for these past seventeen or eighteen years. Sometimes we get frustrated and ask God things like why we live in such a hateful world. I've asked Him that a lot lately, but yesterday he showed me there is hope.

To my neighbor, thank you.

Lovely Little Reminders

The past couple of months have been pretty ridiculous. At every turn there is more stress.  I’ve been signing up for next semesters classes and fishing my last three weeks of school. But I also signed up for the St. John Bosco Conference through the University of Steubenville so I can receive my youth ministry certification. That is what has been weighing on me the most. It’s daunting to know that I will probably be the youngest person there and this determines my entry into the professional side of youth ministry.

Today I was on the phone with my mother and I brought up the conference. As we talked I realized just how scared I was about the whole thing. I mean I have five days to run through a guided crash course in youth ministry. That doesn’t seem like much time. But she reminded me that I’ve been involved in ministry since the 7^th grade and probably have more life experience than most of these people anyway.

Even with that extra parental boost of confidence I still didn’t feel ready. So I went about my day and stopped at the organic store, Earth Fare, in Centerville, OH. Not thinking about anything I grabbed my groceries and a bottle of tea and I drove home. Well that bottle of tea held what I was looking for. Being so stressed lately my prayer life has been lacking and God and I haven’t had a heart to heart in a while.

I opened my bottle and about half way through the drink I realized the cap had a message, “Yes we can.” Those three little words were all I needed. Sometimes I get so hung up on the big stuff that I forget the small stuff. My mom was right. I did forget all those hours I spent at youth group on Sundays and everything I’ve learned. I forgot that my age is working with me because it allows me to relate with the kids. But most of all I forgot that a few minutes in prayer could’ve saved me all this trouble.

That leads me to a fact that many of us fail to remember. God doesn’t mind reminding you how wonderful you are. He is just like any other parent who wants to see his children succeed. Through out our lives we will all have a lack of confidence and get hung up on something. When this happens you need to remember that you are not alone and that asking for help doesn’t make you weak. At the time I didn’t know how to ask for help, but God knew I was going through something so He did something about it. He left me a note just like the ones my mother would leave in my lunch. He left a little reminder that He believed in me just like He believes in you.

"Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect."

I agree with Simon Wilder on this one, women are perfect. When I think of the movie "With Honors," one key scene sticks out to me. A Harvard student, Monty, has taken in Wilder with the hope that the bum returns his thesis paper. As Monty runs errands he bring Wilder back to the library where he found him. Because of his attire the librarian scolds him, but Wilder isn't phased. Instead Wilder turns to Monty and the following conversation occurs.

"Simon Wilder: Women. Ain't they perfect? Monty: Not always. Simon Wilder: Yes, they are, they're perfect. Don't matter if they're     skinny, fat, blond or blue. If a woman is willing to give you her love,  Harvard, it's the greatest gift in the world. Makes you taller, makes you smarter, makes your teeth shine. Boy, oh, boy, women are perfect."

Wilder addresses an issue that has plagued many women in recent decades. As sensitive creatures we have probably always struggled with this issue of body peace, or lack there of. 

This issue of body peace goes much further than liking your outward self. Inner peace is the first and longest step. It all comes down to being comfortable with YOU, not just your skin. Changing the skin doesn't always fix the problem. I had been on a diet since I was eight years old. I tried everything just to look better. But for me I had to realize that my dad was an alcoholic and called me fat when he was under the influence. I had to recognize my own beauty inside and out to escape a couple of abusive relationships. Most of all I had to surround myself with people that thought I was beautiful with or without makeup and in sweat pants or a dress. It takes action and time, but it's not impossible. 

Lent

When I was younger I hated Lent because I always had to give something up. So instead of giving up chocolate, which I love, I would give up hitting my sister or something silly like that. Now I realize how much I was missing.

Lent is a 40 day season in the Catholic church that remembers Jesus' fasting and temptation in the desert. The whole point of giving up something is to prayerfully sacrifice something just like Jesus did. 

So instead of looking at Lent as something I had to do I now look at it as something I should want to do. Just like my prayer life Lent should be for personal growth. And Lent doesn't have to mean giving something up, you are allowed to add something.

This year I tossed around a lot of ideas, but I kept coming back to adding some exercise. I decided to add yoga and bike riding to my life. It really tied in nicely because my research paper in English class is about the risks and benefits of yoga. It's always funny when things tie in.

But if you're still trying to figure out what to do for Lent here are some suggestions.

1. Facebook: This site can flood your life with some very unnecessary drama. By giving this up you'll quickly learn how much you depend on it and who your real friends are. OR You can make a resolution to post a quote, song lyric, photo, or some other sort of inspiration. You may never know how much someone needed to read that quote or hear that song.

2. Texting: This is a favorite among my friends because as a society our people skills are going down hill. Giving this up is a must try at anytime because we are all way to reliant on technology. OR As a family, give up texting at the table. My mom does this when the kids are over and I do this when my friends and I are out.

3. Food: It is so common to give up food, candy or soda, but what if you vowed to try new food. Since moving out I try two new fruits, vegetables, or cheeses per month. It is the greatest thing I have ever done. I learn so much about other cultures and develop a wonderful appreciation for the food I am blessed to have.

Remember, it's not about the quantity of the sacrifice it's the quality.

Perfect Timing

It has been quite a while since I posted anything. I have been super busy, but good things are happening. I just moved into my childhood home, inspired my best friend to start a blog, and began my second quarter of community college. As all of this was happening one of my friends said that I had become very mature. That really stuck with me this past week.

Now, I have posted before about my inside jokes with God and this was no exception. I was cleaning off the old fridge in my garage when some piece of paper fell off the door. It was yellowed with age and no bigger than a post-it note. As I picked it up I couldn't help, but wonder why someone would stick it behind a dinosaur magnet.

This is what it said: 

"DEAR FRIEND: Here it is. Thank you for asking. 

Maturity

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence. 

Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of a long-term gain. 

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks. 

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

Maturity is being big enough to say, 'I was wrong.' And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, 'I told you so.'

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then do nothing.

Maturity means dependability, keeping one's word and coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of the alibi. They are the confused and the conflicted. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that somehow never materialize.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with what we cannot change, the courage to change what should be changed and the wisdom to know the difference." 

This was an answer to an "Ask Ann Landers" column. The article could've been up there for more than twenty years and I found it at the right time. It's funny how He works, but it always makes me smile.

Memories

Don't you love catching up with a friend? It doesn't matter if it's for five minutes or five hours, it's priceless. Well, I met up with a friend this morning and it was great. We only had a few classes together in high school, but agreed that one class changed our lives.

French class was our escape from the world. No matter what was going on outside those white cinderblock walls, we could vent. Most of us got to the point that the way another walked in said it all. You see it wasn't a normal class. You gained life experience and a support system.

I probably couldn't tell you most of the vocabulary we learned, but I can quote "The Little Prince" and order a ham and cheese sandwich. Our teacher taught us so much more than french history and grammar. She showed us what integrity is and how strong love is. Come hell or high water that woman could put a smile on your face. That is the class I miss and will always want to relive, but life goes on. I thought the picture was fitting because after graduation it was like she stamped a permanent smile on your heart. Je t'aime Madame Rike.

Aha Moments

Lately, I have been very concerned about the path I have chosen. As an aspiring youth minister I don't plan on being rich, but I want to have a stable income. Currently I am going to a local community college and volunteering with a youth group full time. I couldn't understand how I am staying afloat without a job and a yearly $6,000 family stipend. I am a clothes, accessory, shoe, and coffee junkie who donates on a regular basis so I figured all my money was gone.

I reluctantly asked my mom to write down how much I had left. She looked at me like I was insane and said a number. I must have asked her a thousand times to repeat it. Apparently I had a lot of money left over. I couldn't imagine how that was possible. I mean I bought a bunch of clothes, went to New  York City, paid for two quarters of college, donated to church, bought Christmas for two family's of seven, and drove all over. But I had forgotten something.

I was doing what God had asked me to do. He said it would be tough because I'm not going to the school I wanted or working right now. I just didn't think I could make it. Being someone who rarely asks for help, handouts are not an option. So God found another way. He blessed me with wonderful friends who let me stay for dinner twice a month and a great youth minister who wants me to succeed. My youth minister even found a possible paid internship for the summer. This was my aha moment. Now I know I am stable and I can still do everything I dreamed of...with His help.

If you have aha moments I would love to hear about them. Feel free to comment :)

Photo from: http://www.phillytechguy.com/home/images/stories/aha-moments.jpg

Did You Forget?

Tonight something hilarious happened at my house. My mom and stepdad were sitting on the couch joking with each other about my stepfather's addiction to Angry Birds. We call it the "other woman." As they were playfully fighting my mother accidentally knocked over the stool. As the stool fell a Corelle dish shattered and a blue cup was sent rolling across the carpet. We sat there for a moment and then we laughed hysterically. Even though it was one of my mother's favorite divided plates, it was hilarious. It is something she'll never live down, but it is also a fond memory. Even though she may not find another.

Sometimes in life we get so wrapped up in the bad and the ugly that we forget the good. We forget how the now deceased made us laugh. We put aside the happy memories as we mourn our break up. Yes, we should remember the bad and the ugly, but remember the good as well. Because without the good we have nothing to look forward to, nothing to keep us going. I refuse to live in world where all life's goodness is lost.