Thriving in the Loneliness

How many times have you heard someone say, “You are not alone.” Many of you can think of at least a few times when this has happened, but how many of you believed it? As you think about it maybe you have the image of a family member or friend saying this to you and you shaking your head like, “Yeah right.” As much as you hate to hear it, they were right.

As human beings and people of faith we will go through seasons of blessings, belief, doubt, and despair. Each of these seasons is determined by our faith and when you’re lonely it’s hard to keep praying. It is so easy to just go through the motions. Whether you’re married, single, or living the religious life. You will be lonely it’s a fact of life. Your spouse is not the source of your contentment. No amount of school activities will fill your void. A community on it’s own cannot provide you with the support you’re seeking. So, what is the key?

In my small Christian community we’ve been studying the Theology of the Body. Every Tuesday afternoon we get together and listen to a talk and talk about what we heard. Tonight we talked about how hungry human beings are. We hunger to fill our void. We hunger for love, but the love we seek cannot be achieved unless we seek God. God is love, right? We are created to know, love, and serve Him, right?

As I sat and listened I felt so stupid! Our society would have us believe that we need a romantic relationship to fill our void or money, or a big house and the list goes on and on. The only thing that will fill that hunger, the same “hunger that drives great saints to know God” is GOD. (TOB)

Our problem is that we look for something to fill that void in all the wrong places. Christopher West from Theology of the Body explains this paradox very well, “That same hunger that drives great saints to know God can drive them to be great sinners.” I had never thought of it that way.

This is why being lonely sucks. The expression “being surrounded by a sea of people and feeling all alone” perfectly describes how I feel as a single person. It is so hard to wake up and go about my day and go to bed alone. Even though people at school and around town surround me at the end of the day I have two cats and a quiet home to go to. That’s not the kind of life I aspired to live. That’s not the life I read about in storybooks. That’s not the life happy people live.

Wrong. Plenty of happy people live a similar life. They are happy because they are thriving in their loneliness and/or singleness. They are walking with God. Every time they get lonely they can remember God is there. He may not be tangible in the moment, but he is there for you. He’s the listening ear, the song on the radio, and the pleasant weather. He’s even in your positive thinking about your current life.

A marriage may not last your whole life. You may not always live in a Christian community. Your singleness may not last forever. Even if your marriage lasts forever there will be business trips and times spent apart. Even in your community you will need to retreat. Even in your singleness you have the best companion. Being lonely sucks, but God can cure it.

Seek Him in your church communities. Get involved in Christ centered projects and groups. Pray everyday and build a relationship with Him. Serve Him with your gifts. Glorify Him in all that you do. God will fill your hunger and to do this you need to get to know Him.

Over the past month I've been struggling with this issue. It has been so hard to stay positive and not let myself be dismayed over not having a companion. But one of my fellow small Christian community participants put it perfectly, "He has you where you need to be." I found so much comfort in that and I hope you do to. Know that I am praying for all of you and I hope finding comfort in our creator will bring you out of your darkness and give you strength.

Who Is Blessed?

Every time I write a witness talk it’s different. It could be the same story I’ve told for years, but how I prepare for each talk is wildly different. I sat down to write one on the meaning of being blessed and was amazed at God’s intervention. On Thursday night I was supposed to go to young adult group, but God’s plan isn’t always our plan. By the time I got the key and unlocked the room everyone had cancelled. Thinking I could be productive I sat down with a stack of loose leaf, a Bible, and “Ten Minute Daily Devotions for Teens”.

I almost never sit down with references to write a witness, but this time I guess I needed to. I had no idea how to define the word blessed so I looked it up. According to dictionary.com blessed means: consecrated, sacred, holy, sanctified, worthy of adoration and worship, divinely favored, or fortunate. This all sounded great, but it didn’t seem relatable. How was I supposed to write a talk on holiness? I am so far from it.

Frustrated I opened “Ten Minute Daily Devotions for Teens” to the day I am supposed to give this talk, August 14^th. The title of the page read, “Who Is Blessed?” Not giving it a second thought I laughed and continued reading. This is what it said:

“While he was speaking, a woman from the crowd called out and said to him, ‘Blessed is the womb that carried you and the breasts at which you nursed.’ He replied, ‘Rather, blessed are those who hear the word of God and keep it.’ “

Luke 11:27-28

All of the sudden I knew where to go with the talk. I understood what anecdotes to tell. But I couldn’t have done any of it without Him. I don’t believe in coincidence or luck because that only goes so far. When it’s the power of God intervening in your life you know it. And if you know that you know what it means to be blessed. To allow God to use you is keeping His word. By relinquishing yourself to Him you trust His plans.

Trusting in Him is difficult especially when you need to most. Like when you’re having a terrible day and just can’t seem to see the good in it. God seems like your last priority, but He should be your first. You can’t pray to Him when it’s great and forget Him as your world seems to crumble. When you invoke His spirit and allow Him to fill you up you are blessed. If you don’t believe me think back to a time when you allowed that to happen. Do you remember the peace you felt? That was God.

We’re told in Colossians 3:15, “And let the peace of Christ control your hearts, the peace into which you were called in one body.” Through out the Bible we’re called to be in communion with Christ every moment of our lives. When we invite Him in and keep Him in our hearts we become blessed. Finally, when we are blessed we achieve peace. It is a lifelong struggle to maintain this peace, but it’s not impossible.

Here is a prayer from “Ten Minute Daily Devotions for Teens” to help you ask God for help:

“Dear Jesus, you have proclaimed that I can be blessed, be holy, if I hear your word and obey it. Help me to be attentive to your word and live it. Amen” 

Invite God Into Your Hearts

Lent

When I was younger I hated Lent because I always had to give something up. So instead of giving up chocolate, which I love, I would give up hitting my sister or something silly like that. Now I realize how much I was missing.

Lent is a 40 day season in the Catholic church that remembers Jesus' fasting and temptation in the desert. The whole point of giving up something is to prayerfully sacrifice something just like Jesus did. 

So instead of looking at Lent as something I had to do I now look at it as something I should want to do. Just like my prayer life Lent should be for personal growth. And Lent doesn't have to mean giving something up, you are allowed to add something.

This year I tossed around a lot of ideas, but I kept coming back to adding some exercise. I decided to add yoga and bike riding to my life. It really tied in nicely because my research paper in English class is about the risks and benefits of yoga. It's always funny when things tie in.

But if you're still trying to figure out what to do for Lent here are some suggestions.

1. Facebook: This site can flood your life with some very unnecessary drama. By giving this up you'll quickly learn how much you depend on it and who your real friends are. OR You can make a resolution to post a quote, song lyric, photo, or some other sort of inspiration. You may never know how much someone needed to read that quote or hear that song.

2. Texting: This is a favorite among my friends because as a society our people skills are going down hill. Giving this up is a must try at anytime because we are all way to reliant on technology. OR As a family, give up texting at the table. My mom does this when the kids are over and I do this when my friends and I are out.

3. Food: It is so common to give up food, candy or soda, but what if you vowed to try new food. Since moving out I try two new fruits, vegetables, or cheeses per month. It is the greatest thing I have ever done. I learn so much about other cultures and develop a wonderful appreciation for the food I am blessed to have.

Remember, it's not about the quantity of the sacrifice it's the quality.

Perfect Timing

It has been quite a while since I posted anything. I have been super busy, but good things are happening. I just moved into my childhood home, inspired my best friend to start a blog, and began my second quarter of community college. As all of this was happening one of my friends said that I had become very mature. That really stuck with me this past week.

Now, I have posted before about my inside jokes with God and this was no exception. I was cleaning off the old fridge in my garage when some piece of paper fell off the door. It was yellowed with age and no bigger than a post-it note. As I picked it up I couldn't help, but wonder why someone would stick it behind a dinosaur magnet.

This is what it said: 

"DEAR FRIEND: Here it is. Thank you for asking. 

Maturity

Maturity is the ability to control anger and settle differences without violence. 

Maturity is patience. It is the willingness to pass up immediate pleasure in favor of a long-term gain. 

Maturity is perseverance, the ability to sweat out a project or situation in spite of heavy opposition and discouraging setbacks. 

Maturity is the capacity to face unpleasantness and frustration, discomfort and defeat, without complaint or collapse.

Maturity is being big enough to say, 'I was wrong.' And, when right, the mature person need not experience the satisfaction of saying, 'I told you so.'

Maturity is the ability to make a decision and stand by it. The immature spend their lives exploring endless possibilities and then do nothing.

Maturity means dependability, keeping one's word and coming through in a crisis. The immature are masters of the alibi. They are the confused and the conflicted. Their lives are a maze of broken promises, former friends, unfinished business and good intentions that somehow never materialize.

Maturity is the art of living in peace with what we cannot change, the courage to change what should be changed and the wisdom to know the difference." 

This was an answer to an "Ask Ann Landers" column. The article could've been up there for more than twenty years and I found it at the right time. It's funny how He works, but it always makes me smile.

Giving & Receiving

So I have been lazy and I haven't really written a post since I got back from New York. As Christmas approaches I have been so incredibly busy. My sister and lots of friends have come home for the holidays. I am trying to make as much time for them, but it never seems to be enough. I keep dropping plans to hang out or have lunch and it falls through. I thought the holidays were supposed to be a happy time. I had finally decided the holidays suck and I was done, but someone brought me back. Well, a few actually.

I volunteer full time at my home parish. The amount of work I take on is ridiculous and half the time I am so underprepared. It's not fair to me or the kids, but somehow it gets done. Last Wednesday I showed up to yet another event and poured the rest of my energy into it like always. I was so worn out, but this one girl just needed to talk. She seemed to be going through a lot and we talked it out. Even though I wanted to collapse on the couch her need made me stay alert and focused.

One of the other kids must have noticed how I helped the other girl and opened up to me with a real problem. I was just there doing my job like I do every week, but this time I felt like I impacted a few of them. For the past four months I have given talks, sang silly songs, and played games. I can't remember the last time I just sat and listened. Whether the kids know it or not they gave me the best Christmas gift. They reminded me why I wanted to pursue youth ministry in the first place. I wanted to make a dent.

"You can't change the world, but you can make a dent."   

                                  -Edward Norton as Sheldon Mopes in Death to Smoochy

Read more: http://www.toomanyquotes.com/movie_quotes/you-can-t-change-the-world-but-you-can-make-a-dent#ixzz1hQn82co9